Finding Solace

I had a massage this week. I used to be a regular but it has been, conservatively, two years since I had my last. And oh, my, goodness, did my body need it.

I've spent the last couple of months moaning about my hips (TMI and highly attractive, I know) which I can only put down to a terrible chair, sitting down for far too long in my day, and my only exercise being intensive running. I haven't yoga'd since the Fall because I just haven't had the 'right' space, inside or outside my brain.

As I'm sure it is with everyone else, my shoulder posture has a lot to live up to, but it's also been recovering from whiplash with not as good as possible support and daily physio exercise as I could have engaged in. It's fine, but that's also why it's been more than two years.

But I went (and submitted my insurance claim - there's some self-care for you, because for Canadian readers, I'm lucky to have insurance coverage, and for British readers, yes, massage is covered by work insurance benefits, but not everyone has them, which for one thing means not everyone has local access to physio). 

But I went, and I screwed my face up so bad, and I clicked, and I was stretched, and I felt lighter afterwards, less like a wound up toy that had to zip to the next thing. I could move slow if I wanted, deliberately, and not just because I was exhausted - what a privilege! I could breathe more deeply, and take a moment to actively choose the apple over the ice-cream (not every time, but an apple once in a while is a good idea I hear).

It made me realise the horrible cycle an exhausted mind and body will find themselves in and struggle to get out of. It made me re-think reaching out to the therapist a friend recommended the other day. I was interested because honestly, who couldn't use therapy after the last 18 months, but turned away because I figured I was fine. I think my body has been trying to tell me otherwise.

All that being said, I was also recently asked if I was happy, and despite some things (like not having seen family in nearly two years) I am (I think) the happiest I have ever been. Because the things that are not right in my life will be soon(ish) and everything else is lining up. The world of possibility truly feels at the end of my finger tips again.

In summary, check on your friends, go get a massage, drink more water, and if you have access to therapy, then seriously consider using it.